Death, Life, and Everything Else
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Henry taught Luxa about death. Nerissa showed her what life was all about. And the Overlander...well, the Overlander taught her everything else. - Three-shot.
1. Death

Death

"Where were you last night?"

Luxa sniffled slightly, staring up into Henry's eyes. "With Solovet and Vikus. They wanted me to sleep in their room. Or Vikus did. Solovet never went to bed."

He just nodded as she came further into his bedroom. "I got stuck in here, with guards outside my room. Guards. Like they'd be any help. They never help with anything."

Walking over to his bed, she waited for him to scoot over before clambering up there as well. When she was up so early in the day usually, she'd go crawl in bed with her parents. In fact, when she awoke to find Vikus still sleeping, that had been the first place she had taken off running for. Then one of the guards saw her running and snatched her up, reminding her that it wasn't safe any longer.

It would never be safe again.

"Henry?"

He just shifted on the bed to accommodate her more. "What?"

"Do you really think…that they're…"

"Of course. I saw their bodies."

That was a lie. Luxa knew it had to be a lie. Or at least it should have been. Henry had been with her and Nerissa when the siege broke out. And she had heard the adults talking. There was a mass body count. All the bodies were going to be burned and the funeral festivities joined as one. No one would have shown him the bodies. Why would they have?

But still, Henry didn't lie to her. He just didn't. He was the only one that always told her the truth. Always. He was the only one that didn't spare her feelings or treat her like she was only seven. He was very good to her in that way, she thought.

Besides, it was beyond Luxa in her young age that her cousin might ever lie to her to make himself sound better. Older. More experienced. Hardened. She wouldn't realize for a few more years that he was actually the best liar she had ever encountered.

"York went home," she told him softly then. He had come to join the fight, when he heard of the siege, along with many others from the Fount. After all, if Regalia was taken, there was no hope for the Fount. Not to mention he couldn't stand to be away from a fight for too long. "To tell Susannah. She probably already knows."

Henry only grunted and Luxa knew to shut up. He didn't like her other family. He didn't think she should associate with any of them. Not even Solovet and Vikus. He told her that her royal family was the only family that matter. Her father, his father, his mother, his sister, and him. Everyone else was only a complication and should be dealt with when she finally came into power.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" Luxa asked him then, glancing up at his face. "I do not like sleeping with Vikus."

"Why?"

"He tries to hold me and talk to me. Like I am a baby. I am not a baby."

"He just loves you."

"It's disgusting."

"He is your grandfather."

"And? You do not have one. You do not know what it is like."

That was true. His mother's family were all dead and, obviously, the only one his father had was his brother.

Now he didn't even have them.

He was all alone.

"Where is Nerissa?" Luxa asked him then. She wouldn't shut up. "I looked into her room, but-"

"She is in the hospital. They had to sedate her." Henry sat up some then. "She is weak, Luxa."

"I know. She-"

"No, Luxa. Now…after yesterday, she is weaker. She has always been weaker than I, but now…" He snorted. "It is wrong that she is the one that is older. I should be the King before she is the Queen."

"She will never be a queen," Luxa told him then with a frown. "Because I will never die. And I'm not going to abda..abda…"

"Abdicate," he told her with a frown. "And you will die, Luxa. Everyone will die eventually."

"But-"

"Not for a long time though," he said then with a sigh as she cuddled against him. "Because I will not let you. Alright?"

She sniffled. "Our parents are dead, Henry."

"That was different. They…they were foolish. We won't be."

"What do you mean?"

"When you come into power, we will not be like them," he assured her then. "Jealous of one another. Any of us. Me, you, or Nerissa. My mother wished to be yours and your mother wished to keep mine out of her business. It won't be that way, will it?"

"Of course not. I love you and Nerissa." Luxa moved to sit up too then. "My power will be yours. We will all live here, in the royal wing, with our families."

"Our families?" He only shook his head. "You are going to marry, Luxa? I am not. You should not either. We will only have to divide the power more, you see? It shall only be you and I, yes? Together?"

"And Nerissa, Henry," she told him with a frown. "You are forgetting Nerissa."

He smiled down at her. "I would never forget my sister, Luxa. But she is not well. She never shall be. You and I though, we will be most powerful."

"Of course."

"Especially after we do away with your wretched grandmother."

Luxa, even at seven, wasn't too fond of the woman either. Not like she was of Henry and Nerissa. "Okay."

"You shall make whoever I tell you to the head of the military, yes? Because I will know more males than you shall."

She sat up taller then. "Perhaps I do not want a stupid boy to head my military."

He thumped her head. "Be quiet."

"Ow! Henry-"

"Besides," he said, looking off. "I will know the women better than you as well."

Whatever that meant. Sighing, Luxa moved to lay back down, rubbing where he had flicked her. She had long grown out of telling on him when he was mean to her. It only caused him to call her a baby and threaten not to talk to her. She couldn't have that. Henry was the only person she really had to talk to. And he was so much older than her. Five whole years! She couldn't afford not to have him talk to her.

Besides, after what happened the day before, she no longer _had_ anyone to tell on him to…

"Henry," she whispered then. "Are you sure that you saw my mother? Maybe she hid somewhere and it was someone else. Judith is very good with a sword. She-"

"Are you saying that my mother was not? Or my father?"

"N-No, I only-"

"They are dead, Luxa. Dead. And you have to accept that."

Whining slightly, she cuddled into his side. "But maybe-"

"There are no maybes, Luxa." He shifted slightly, away from her. "Not in death. Even your grandmother saw them. Do you think that she would lie about something like that?"

"Well, no, but-"

"They are dead."

"I just wish-"

"Wish what? That they hadn't died? Well, too bad, Luxa. You have to move on."

Move on. After a day. She only closed her eyes tightly.

"I'm all you have now," he told her then, after taking a moment to compose himself. "Death took everyone else away. You need me, Luxa. Never forget it."

"I'll always need you," she assured him. "I love you."

He snorted, his usual response when she acted too much like a girl, but said nothing.

"Everyone will die," he told her after a few moment. "I will die too eventually. And that's what's important, okay?"

"You mean living is."

"No. How you die is. My father, your father? They died brave. They died the most valiant deaths one could intake. They died protecting what was theirs. They are real men." He grinned slightly then, pulling his knees up to his chest before resting his head on them. "That's how I shall die. Heroic, brave, fearless. I am a real man too."

Luxa only took a second to think before saying, "I'd rather just not die."

"That is not an option, Luxa," he told her with a frown. "You are going to die. Every woman, man, and child is slowly dying. Your light can only burn for so long. There is no such thing as a fire that burns forever, is there?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then see? You cannot fear your death, Luxa. You have to make your death fear you."

"I do not-"

"Death is inevitable. Everyone shall die. It's the price of life. It is the way that you die that will define you." He shook his head. "Do you remember your mother's brother? Hamnet?"

"Yes," she said slowly. What did Hamnet have to do with anything?

"He lived a valiant life, huh? Everyone bowed to him. He was a fearsome, gruesome warrior. He would kill anything and everything that his mother told him." Henry looked down at Luxa then. He was not so certain what all she knew of her uncle's departure, but he had been old enough to remember it all. "But then he ran off, like a crawler or nibbler. And he no doubt died out there, a coward. Now no one remembers what kind of a man he was in his life, they all remember what sort of a coward he was in his death. Do you understand?"

Slowly, Luxa nodded. "Yes."

"Good," he sighed, closing his eyes then. "Good."

"Can I sleep here then? Tonight?" she finally asked him again. It had been her original question, after all. "I don't wanna be alone. And I don't think Vikus will let me be. I don't want to sleep with him."

"Sleep in the war room then, with Solovet."

"Henry-"

"Yes, Luxa. We will worry about it later though, alright? We need to get up." He blinked then, a thought crossing over his mind in that moment. "Today will be your first day as the ruler. You are in charge now. Until they put a council together to try and control you."

"Yuck."

"I know." He shoved her then, gently, forcing her out of his bed. Then he stood too. "Come on. We have to find something to eat. We did not get any dinner last night."

They had been too busy for that and all the adults in their life…well, the main ones weren't there to make sure they were fed, but Solovet and Vikus were also too busy to worry about it. Luxa wasn't so certain she'd have been able to eat last night anyhow. She remembered, vaguely, York mentioning going to the mess hall and finding it deserted, but he had been going off to go find some alcohol.

At the thought of having food in that moment though made Luxa's stomach growl. She usually giggled at something like that, but she wasn't so certain she could ever giggle again.

Sniffling instead, Luxa waited for Henry to change clothes before following him out of his tiny room. That's all she had done since the day before, sniffled. She hadn't cried, not really. Solovet told her that she was the Queen. Queens did not cry, she said. They got even.

"After we eat, can we find Nerissa?" Luxa asked him. He only nodded his head as he led her out of his room. There were guard all around and one insisted on walking with them down to the dining hall.

"And after we find Nerissa, we will find Solovet."

"Why? And we don't have to find her. She'll be in the war room like always," Luxa told him. "What do you want with her though?"

"It is like I said, Luxa, before," he began as she followed him down the hall. "They have not put a council together yet. Until they have, you are in power. You are technically the only one that commands anyone. Silly, isn't it?"

She nodded. "But what does that have to do with Solovet?"

He made a face down at her. "We are going to dismiss her from her duties, you see? Your first and last act before the council is put together. Come on. We must hurry."

Luxa didn't really think that was possible, taking her grandmother from power. And she wasn't so certain if she really wanted to. But still, she'd go along with what Henry told her, if only because he was her favorite person in the world.

He was the last person in her world, really. The last one that mattered. And she'd do anything to please him. Anything. And he would do anything to protect her. Anything.

…Wouldn't he?


	2. Life

Life

"The Overlander got home okay. After bonding to Ares. Though you know that." Vikus chuckled slightly, that one that he used when he knew something everyone else didn't. "He will be back though. Of course."

Luxa only stared blankly back at her grandfather, who smiled at her slightly. She gave him nothing in return. Solovet, who was also at the table, sighed slightly.

"You look horrible, sweetheart," she said in that overly motherly tone that Luxa had long ago learn was completely false. "Perhaps you should go back to bed."

She had been asleep for days. The only time anyone ever saw her was when she left her room to eat. And that was only to go ask one of her guards to bring her something. She was not doing well. At all.

"Perhaps it would be best if you went and saw Nerissa today," Vikus tried then. "You could both heal together."

Luxa tried to ignore him. She really did. If anyone was good at ignoring Vikus, it was her. She had to do so constantly. He had to be the most annoying, infuriating thing ever in existence. He constantly wanted to talk. About feelings, about water currents, food, crop rotations. Anything and everything. That's all he cared about. Talking. About the most nonsensical of things. In what way did crop rotations or water currents matter to Luxa? Much less feelings? They were all useless.

"She lost more than you, after all, dear. And you haven't even spoke to-"

Luxa tossed her plate over then, as if she were a child, aiming it in Vikus' direction. He jumped in his seat as his face was splattered with some sort of sauce. Solovet, who was next to him only sighed as Luxa left the room.

"Good job, Vikus. We finally got her to leave her room and you messed it up. Now I'm going to have to…_talk_ to her again." Solovet practically shivered at the word. "It was bad enough when Judith died. Talking to her about this boy is even worse. He was a traitor, after all. I'd have killed him myself, had I been around. Tossed him off that cliff-"

"Solovet," Vikus sighed as he wiped at his face with a napkin. One of the servants had rushed over to clean up the mess Luxa made. She was spoiled, after all. "Not now."

Luxa wasn't that far down the hall then and heard enough of their conversation to feel anger bubble up inside her once more. Usually she would go find Henry to rant about how horrible her grandparents were. He had the same sentiment about them, after all. But now…Henry wasn't…

She wasn't able to cry anymore. It had been days, after all, of nonstop self-pity. Eventually even Aurora left her alone to find her way out of her sorrow alone. And she had…mostly. She just needed to…to…

Well, in that moment to find her bond and get out of the palace. That was the most important thing at the moment. Away from foolish Vikus and his evil wife. That's what she needed to do, above all else.

As she was headed to the High Halls in hopes that Aurora would be there, she happened to pass the prophecy room.

It wasn't so strange to see a light coming from it. It also wasn't strange to hear Nerissa in there, giggling to herself over something or other.

It was, however, strange for her to be so happy over a bunch of stupid words inscribed in stone after the death of her last direct family member. Especially considering the fact that Luxa hadn't even allowed herself to smile since it happened.

It was a split decision to go into the room, but Nerissa did not seem surprised to find her there. She only grinned at her, waving her to her side. Luxa only stood there in the doorway, trying to place what prophecy her cousin had the lamp ghosting over without really checking. What could she find so funny?

"What are you doing in here, Nerissa?" Luxa asked slowly as she walked over to her. "What are you doing?"

"I am reading, Luxa, of course."

"Of course," she repeated slowly as she moved to sit next to her cousin. She had not seen her since coming back and was shocked to find her in such high spirits. Looking at the wall she was sitting in front of, Luxa frowned when she saw what prophecy she was reviewing.

"The Prophecy of Bane?" she asked slowly. "Why would you be-"

"I am only thinking of what glorious fight the Overlander will have to overcome next," Nerissa said, giggling again at the thought. "He and his sister. They are quite the-"

"Nerissa, why do you care about the Overlander?"

"Why do you not care about him?" She turned to look at Luxa then, her overjoyed face a dire contrast to Luxa's gloomy one. Reaching out, Nerissa caught both of Luxa's cheeks in her hands, still grinning. "He is our savior, Luxa. Without him, Gorger and Henry would have-"

Luxa jerked out of her cousin's hold, almost falling onto her back in her struggle to get away. "Why would you say-"

"It is the truth, is it not?" Nerissa only stared at her for another second before turning to look back at the wall. "Have you freshened up on the Prophecy of Bane? You are not included in it, but I am certain that you shall invite yourself on the quest. Not one to let an Overlander show you up, yes? And he would like for you to go, I am sure. You two are…well, not friends, but you are acquaintances, yes? For now at lea-"

"Henry was not…Nerissa, you cannot honestly…"

"Henry betrayed us. Gregor saved us." Nerissa was tracing her finger across the prophecy again. "Of course, the Prophecy of Bane does not sound nearly as much fun as the Prophecy of Blood. That might be my favorite the warrior has to accomplish. Considering the only other is the Prophecy of Time, however…no, I do not think I shall like that one much. But duty is duty, and Gregor is-"

"Would you _stop_ talking about the Overlander?" Luxa ground out, glaring at her cousin. "Please?"

Nerissa only shook her head slightly. "It is even more fun, Luxa, when you think of what will happen after the warrior. What new set of prophecies shall-"

"Did you or did you not care about Henry at all?"

That mad the teen pause before turning to look down at her cousin, who still just glowering at her, as if she had done something wrong. Nerissa was not sure what that thing was though.

"Of course I cared about Henry," she said slowly, her smile fading. "Why would you-"

"Then how could you sit here and thank the heavens for the Overlander? If he had fallen, if Ares had saved Henry, we would-"

"We would all be dead. Perhaps not I, not yet, but certainly you." Nerissa only shook her head slightly. "Honestly, Luxa, to think that Ares made the wrong decision-"

"I did not say that But if Gregor-"

"Gregor is the warrior, Luxa. He is the only thing at the moment that is keeping that crown on your head." Nerissa paused, pulling the blanket over her shoulders tighter around herself. "And Solovet, I suppose, would tell you that she is helping with that as well, but I am not here to argue that point at this moment. Or ever. She is rather-"

"Nerissa."

"My point was that Gregor saved us al. He and Ares. And they are not done yet." She looked back at the wall in front of them before whispering, "_Evil cloaked in coat of white, Will the warrior drain your light?"_

Luxa blinked. Then, slowly, she shook her head. "Is that all you care about, Nerissa? The prophecies? Henry is-"

"Dead, Luxa. Henry is dead. And he is not coming back. Death is rather final in that way."

"Nerissa-"

"That does not mean that I am not sad. That I do not feel sorrow. I am rather sorrowful over what has occurred. But I cannot stop living, can I?"

"It is not like your life is so interesting. You could have at least stayed away from the prophecies for-"

"Why, Luxa? Why must I morn? Had I died, would Henry have mourned me? And he was trying to kill you. He would not have mourned your death, would he have?"

"I…I do not…"

"Our Henry died without us knowing," she told her younger cousin then in that soft, nurturing tone that others usually used with her. Nerissa had never been nurturing towards Luxa. Caring, yes. She cared about her, but she wasn't motherly to her. She wasn't able to be. Luxa always saw herself as above her cousin, even though nearly seven years separated them in age. "Who knows when? Not us. He has been dead for months, I am sure. And you would think we would notice, the two of us, but I suppose the monster that consumed him was far better at masquerading than we thought."

Luxa didn't know what to say. She shifted slightly, to rest her back against the wall, making sure that she couldn't see the stupid Prophecy of Bane. The last thing she wanted to think about was the Overlander.

"If he's our savior," Luxa finally got out, "then why do I feel worse than I did before he showed up?"

Nerissa smiled at her, as if she were being naïve or childish. "Sometimes, Luxa, saving you doesn't mean making you happy. It just means keeping you alive for another day. And that is all that matters. Living."

"I would rather be dead," she told her then softly. "I would rather be dead than live any longer. Who is left to live for? Aurora? Ares? They have each other. You? You have your damn prophecies…and the stupid Overlander, apparently. I have no one."

"You have your kingdom," Nerissa told her then, not missing a beat. She was moving the lamp them, off to the Prophecy of Blood. Her favorite, apparently. Ugh. How could she even read it without a mirror? She must have memorized it. The thought gave Luxa a headache. "If you ever feel as you do now, just remember that. You have to live, Luxa. You have no other option. If you die now, I cannot abdicate. Who would lead after me?"

Luxa sat there for a moment before saying slowly. "Vikus and Solovet. They are everyone's favorite. Everyone without a brain. And then York and Susannah. And then…and then…"

"Do you wish for them to have your kingdom? Your realm?"

"Of course not, Nerissa, but-"

"Then live to spite them. Live to save what is yours. Just live. Life isn't about living death, Luxa. It's just about finding something to live for. And if Henry is what you were living for, fine. He is gone. There is no arguing that. But you have to be able to find something else to live for."

Nerissa was facing the other wall then, already running her fingers over the lines in the Prophecy of Blood. Luxa hoped that one was far, far away. The Prophecy of Bane too. The last person she wanted to deal with was the Overlander. His smug, stupid little attitude about everything.

"I live for the prophecies," Nerissa was telling her then. "I love them. More than I love anything else. Even you, Luxa."

She blinked. "Thank you, Nerissa, for sharing that with me."

She only nodded before saying, "_In the cradle, fine the cure, For which makes the blood impure._"

"Nerissa, if you quote one more line to me, I will-"

"How can you not just love every word Sandwich ever wrote? He was a poet, a master of the written word, a-"

"The Overlander and Sandwich then?"

"Oh, the Overlander is great too," Nerissa assured her. "Though you would know more of that than I. After all, you got to see him in action."

Luxa paused, closing her eyes. Then, after she got over that sick feeling in her stomach when she thought of that day, she said, "He ran. He got lucky. He did not fight. He-"

"Luck does not exist, Luxa. Only fate. I-"

"Quote me the Prophecy of Time and I will leave."

Nerissa only sighed slightly. "What have you decided on then, Luxa? What do you live for? Aurora? Your kingdom? To spite Stellovet? What?"

Luxa just leaned back against the wall for a minute or two, thinking. What did she live for? Before, she awoke every morning with excitement over what new trick she and Aurora would master and what funny story Henry would tell her, where he and their bonds would go. Now she awoke to dread and resentment and hatred and pure, unadulterated bitterness, towards not only herself, but also everyone around her. She longed for it to just be over, all of it. To stop feeling that way. And if the only way for that to happen was death, so be it.

…But Nerissa made it out as if it were so easy. And maybe it was for her. She had no responsibilities, no one to care about, but herself. She was alone in the world. Completely alone…but she was happy that way. Maybe not as happy as she was when her parents were alive, but she had slowly found a new happy. A new joy. A new view of the world.

So why couldn't Luxa?

When she lost her parents, her life turned purely into whatever Henry wanted it. She hated Solovet because Henry hated Solovet. She refused to stay in the nursery because Henry had outgrown the nursery. She didn't follow Vikus' advice because Henry thought he was a crazy old bat. She detested of the Overlander because Henry thought he was a waste of time.

…Henry was gone though. He was really gone. And it had taken all that time for her to realize it. She couldn't wish him alive. She couldn't mope around until he showed up again. Henry had turned his back on the kingdom, on his bond, on his sister, and most importantly on her. He was ready to watch her die, just to get his own power. Just because she had something he never would.

He was jealous of her. And his greed was going to let him take that thing from her, even if it meant causing her death. Maybe Luxa never loved Henry, just who she thought he was. Because in those few moments, sitting there with Nerissa, she was slowly learning that he wasn't all she had thought before. He was a horrible, wicked, traitor. And she hated him for that.

…Yet she still loved him all the same.

"Me," she whispered randomly, sitting there on the cold stone of the room, staring at the darkened wall across from her.

"Hmmm?" Nerissa was still going over the Prophecy of Blood, though Luxa knew her cousin could quote it backwards and forwards. She had read it and all the others over a thousand times. They were her real family.

After all, she did care about them more than Luxa, apparently.

"Me," Luxa said louder then. "I…I tried living for someone else. It does not work. That person…Henry…he wasn't who I thought he was. No one is ever who you think they are…are they?"

"Of course not, Luxa." Nerissa glanced over at her. "You never really know someone. Perception. Do you know what that is? You only perceive facts about them based off what they have shown you. I could secretly be the strongest, bravest person in the world."

"Right. But you are not."

"Well, of course not. But I am only making an example."

Luxa understood her though. Somewhat. She figured that most the things that came out of Nerissa's mouth even she herself did not understand.

"It's very honorable, Luxa," Nerissa told her then. "Living for yourself. And most fulfilling."

"Yes," she said slowly. "Yes, it is."

"Life is eternal. You are immortal. Until it is not. Until you die. Then you are nothing. Then your light is gone and there is only darkness left for you. So make good of it, cousin." Then, through a giggle, Nerissa added, "_Look where you leap."_

Making a face, Luxa got to her feet. "I warned you. I said-"

"That was not the Prophecy of Time. I-"

"I have to go anyways." Then she sighed as she made it to the door. "I will leave you to your thoughts of the Overlander."

Nerissa only made a slight noise. "He is quite cute."

"N-Nerissa-"

She did not have to turn to see her cousin's blush. After all, Nerissa always knew what to say. Always. "I jest. He is only a boy, after all."

"After all." Luxa sighed then before shaking her head. "And you enjoy men. Dead men. Like Sandwich."

"Very much so. I think that Sandwich and I would have gotten along well together."

Rolling her eyes, Luxa headed out the door. "Good day, Nerissa."

"A very good day," Nerissa whispered to herself after Luxa left. "A very good day for living for yourself."

That made her laugh for twenty minutes, at least. Then, when she sobered and looked around the room to find herself alone, Nerissa only smiled before laying back, flat on the ground, to stare up at the Prophecy of Time.

"Or a very good day to live for the prophecies."


	3. Everything Else

Everything Else

"You smell different."

"I have a new cologne." When she only gave him a stare back, he said, "It's like…a perfume. For guys. It's a scent and you spray it on yourself."

"Like a skunk."

"…Sort of." He made a face then, more at the fact that she knew what a skunk was than the comparison. "So there are those down here?"

"Of course, Overlander." She was in his lap, straddling him, and was able to bury her head in his neck, sniffing slightly. He really smelled…peculiar. Not like him at all. She wasn't sure if she liked it or not.

Gregor only sat there though, absently running a hand down her back as he processed the consequences of an Underland skunk. That is the last monster he wanted to run into.

"Are they…big here?"

"Mmmm. What are you supposed to smell like?"

"Luxa, it's just a scent. Tell me about skunks."

She sniffed again before pulling back so they could see each other. There was no torch in the room and they were alone in the darkness. Out of all the beds Luxa crawled into over the years, she thought sharing one with the Overlander was her favorite. Then again, he was only going up against her parents, Henry, and her grandparents. And those times were only when she had a nightmare as a child.

Again, Gregor was more worried about the skunks. "Where exactly are they located? Like, are they a Dead Lands thing or-"

"I see you once in a month and not only do you smell…odd, but you are more focused on a skunk?"

"I love you," he assured her as he ran his hand down her back, sliding it around to grasp her hip. "But skunks are-"

She shifted in his lap in a way that only she knew to. Groaning, Gregor took his other hand and moved it up to he forehead before knocking her crown up and off. Letting go of her hip, he easily caught it with his second hand.

"Don't be the Queen right now," he mumbled as he moved to wave it in her face. "Just be my girlfriend."

Though seasons did not affect those in the Underland often, they did Luxa extensively. At seventeen, she had learned that there was only one good one. Summer. The rest were horrid and kept Gregor in school for the most part. The horror.

He kept telling her that he would be eighteen soon enough and then they wouldn't have to worry about school. She only reminded him that then he would work and find a real life, something that he himself had said was what normal people in the Overland did. Either that or went away to this horrible thing called college. All seemed as if they would take him even further away.

Snatching her crown away, Luxa quickly replaced it on her head. While righting it, she told him simply, "I can be both."

"Known you a long time and I don't think so. You seem to favor one more than another, depending on how much time we spend together. The less I see you, the more you get comfortable being single."

Single. Girlfriend. They weren't real words to her. But he made them real. She knew words that no one else in the Underland knew. And it was a challenge, at times, not to tell some of the older generals to shut up when they were annoying her or tell others to go fuck themselves. Really, really hard.

"I am better suited as the Queen than your girlfriend."

"In what way?" He grinned at her then, that one where he tilted his head to the side and showed her a flash of teeth, so she knew that she had officially distracted him from those stupid skunks. "Because I think you're the best girlfriend I've ever had."

"I had better be the only."

"Does it matter?"

"Does it matter how many other guests I have entertained in the confines of this room?"

He groaned slightly. "Why do you win every argument?"

"Because I am the Queen."

Shifting to sit up taller, he leaned back against the headboard of her bed with a sigh. "Are you going to feed me in the morning?"

"Gregor-"

"Please?"

She grasped his jaw in one hand, which made him hide his grin as she was trying to seem so in control and everything. He gave up a lot for her.

"Beg me."

"Thought I did."

She squeezed slightly, causing his cheeks to go in like a fish, his lips puffing out. And yeah, okay, so he was kind of letting her do it as well, but he liked seeing her happy. And dominating him made her happy.

"Hungry now," he told her when she relaxed her grip. "Will wait. Please?"

"What do you want?"

"I dunno." He grinned when she released his jaw fully. "Meat."

"Do you want it now?" She wasn't kidding anymore and shifted back in his lap, as if ready to get up. "Eat it in bed?"

"Is that an option?"

She shrugged slightly. "If you are hungry, I will get you food, Overlander."

"Can we still, like, mess around or whatever? Or will watching me eat completely turn you off?"

She pushed his head then with one hand before standing. "You annoy me."

"You love me."

The guard at the entrance to the royal wing did not even blink an eye when Luxa came to him with her request. It was rather late in Regalia, but the mess hall was still open so all the drunks could get their fill. It was not a stretch for Luxa to ask for food so late. Everyone knew who it was for, but it was not a stretch.

It wasn't so much of a secret anyhow, after Luxa was of age. From what she knew, when most queens served on their own, they took lovers. Even multiple. It served as to keep a man off the throne, which would certainly over shine her as far as power went.

If anything, considering Luxa only had one and it was always the same man, it was not that big of a scandal. It was different, of course, with him being an Overlander. That did cause some talk, more out of fear of a bastard, but Luxa ignored those concerns for the most part. Gregor brought these weird…things from the Overlander which more or less quelled her fears.

"If you stain my sheets, I will harm you," Luxa threatened when she returned to Gregor. "Severely."

"Been there, done that." He wiggled his butt slightly when she handed him a plate of food. "You hungry?"

"No," she said slowly as she got back into bed. "And I was wrong. Watching you eat is turning me off."

She had not been expecting his arrival and had been asleep before he showed up. Apparently, Nike had picked him up, as prearranged between them. Why she wasn't allowed to know of his visit beforehand was beyond Luxa. Why he felt the need to surprise her was silly as well. She would much rather know when he was coming. Anticipation was part of the game.

"Ha ha. More fun. Now I have to turn you back on." He winked at her. "Tell me you can withstand this sexiness."

She didn't even blink. "I can withstand."

"More like abstain. You know you want me."

Luxa only laid back down, resting her head near his thigh as he sat crossed-legged, the plate in front of him.

She was the Queen. She could have any man in her bed at any given moment. Instead, she was left with a teenage boy who just completely dropped a piece of pork on her bed.

"Gregor-"

"It was an accident. You knew when you gave me food that this would happen." He wagged a finger at her. "You caused this problem, Luxa. Don't blame me for it."

Oh had she caused the problem. The biggest problem. She had not brought the warrior to the Underland, but she was the reason his ghost kept coming back.

During the summer months or other breaks, Gregor was in the palace constantly. His mother hated it, but she couldn't afford to move to Virginia. It was always next month that they were leaving until it had been years and she finally gave up. Luxa admired Grace's tenacity…mainly because she knew she had more. Luxa knew that she would win Gregor every time over his mother and it was actually another fun factor in their little game.

A very fun one.

Gregor wiggled his butt suddenly, making her frown.

"What?" He was beginning to annoy her, but she was certain that was his goal from the beginning. "What are you happy about?"

"It's just good food. All I got to eat the past week was pizza and burgers. I like, you know, real food sometimes."

She sighed slightly. "It's been a month, Gregor."

"I have school. You know that. I can't…" He sighed slightly. "I missed you. And worried about you. Worried about how you were, what you were doing, who you were talking to."

"All the generals and soldiers that could fill your space."

"No one could take my job," he told her with confidence. "It's not just all about sexing you up, Lux. I gotta put a smile on my face as you berate me, come to terms with the fact that I'm basically a male mistress, and-"

"Stop speaking. I dislike your voice at the moment."

He went back to eating, though it didn't stop his speech. "You know, you could try being loving sometimes. You get me flies with sugar than vinegar."

"Why would I want flies? You make sense."

When he looked down at her, she just pressed her face into her thigh, refusing to look back at him. She felt more comfortable, when he was with her. It was not just his presence either. She liked that, of course, but it was more the thought of him not being in the Overland that she loved most.

When he was in New York, he could be doing anything with anyone at any time. She only knew the Overland from his stories and she found that she did not rather like it. You did not have swords, which left him open to anything. You had to go to horrible places like school, which kept her from seeing him constantly. Then there were the other people that Gregor did not seem to get along with very well.

Which actually was not a bad thing. He spoke some times of other girls and it bothered her to no end. She had many tells, she always had, and he usually steered the conversation back onto other things to keep her anger down. He liked her jealous, but not too jealous.

Jealous. Worry. Love. Care. And, as much as she hated to admit it, patience. It took a lot to be with Gregor and all of those things, as well as many others, played into that. She took so many different emotions to new levels with him. She did not like for her other cousins to have contact with Hazard. That was jealousy. The thought of Gregor knowing other girls and possibly spending time with them? That was true jealousy. It put the other to shame. When Nike went to the fliers' land and did not send word, Luxa worried. When Gregor disappeared and did not show up when promised? That was worry. That was sick to her stomach, convinced he had either decided to leave her forever or been killed worry.

He brought new meaning to all words. Possession, anger, resentment. Fear, compassion, enjoyment. Devotion, loneliness, faithful. Every time he left and every time he returned, there was a new challenge and new situation to deal with.

As much as she needed him, as much as she wanted him, a lot of times she pushed him away too.

She wasn't an easy person to get along with on a basic level. On a personal level, it was almost impossible. Even Hazard took to hating her and her attitude at times. And Gregor was far more than just personal. He crossed that line long ago. As much as she hated it, he was the closest to another person she had ever been in her life. He knew everything.

And she hated it.

When she was crying, he was able to tell immediately what it was from. When she was happy, he immediately tried to replicate whatever it was that made her that way. When she was angry at him, even if he didn't know what he had done (sometimes it was nothing he could control), he immediately tried to remedy the situation. They fought, sure, they had always fought, but he was always far more concerned with making up.

"So what am I getting tonight? Other than the food?" Gregor wiggled his butt again. "Do surprise visits, like, constitute an oral sex thing or-"

"Gregor," she groaned, rubbing her head against his thigh. "Be quiet."

"It's just a question. Not a demand or nothing. I'm fine with just a handy if you-"

"You accuse me of being too much like a queen when you first return, I accuse you of being different as well."

"In what way?"

"In every way." She shifted back slightly, turning her eyes upward to stare at him. "You try too hard to make me laugh."

"Of course I do. I assume that you have not laughed since I left."

"You cannot be serious."

"I very much so am, Lux."

"I do know other people, Gregor."

"Yeah, well, you don't have nobody in your life like me. And I don't got nobody like you either, so it's okay."

"Mmmm." She rested her head against him once more. "I miss you when you go."

"Clingy much?"

"Gregor-"

"I love you. And I miss you too. It's not…I don't like anyone near as much as I like you. Not even just in a sexual way."

"You sure seem to be bringing it up enough, for it not to be."

"I'm horny, baby."

Luxa shut her eyes tightly before letting out a slow breath. She wanted him. She missed him. She had to keep reminding herself of that.

"I just meant though that I would rather be here, you know? Than anywhere else. Except maybe Hawaii. I dunno. I've never been there, but it sounds really cool and chill."

She didn't know what he was talking about, but just took to ignoring that comment. "I like you better here."

"Even when I'm annoying?"

"You are annoying me currently."

"You're just jealous because I got food and you don't."

"I got you the food."

"And?"

Talking to Gregor was always different. Because no matter how long he was gone, the second he was back, their relationship was back. It was like it was frozen and thawed the second he returned. She hardly felt awkward around him and he never seemed to hesitate before telling her whatever he was thinking.

Unfortunately, that included when he was…horny.

"I do not even know what a gnawer would think, Gregor," she mumbled to him then when she got another whiff of him. "Perhaps this cologne is good. It shall hide your scent."

"Do you like it? Just thought I'd try something different."

"It does not smell like…you," she said slowly. His normal scent was what she assumed was a mix of what his home smelled of and the streets of New York. It was not wholly horrible. "But it does not stink either. I suppose."

He wiggled his butt. "Does it turn you on?"

"Okay, Gregor. Enough. I am not laughing anymore."

"I don't think you've actually laughed once tonight, babe."

"Yes, well, your comedy has slowly become stale."

"Yes, well, you're not that fresh either, babe."

"Do not start on a bad note."

"I started on a good note. It's slowly turning sour." He made a face then. "Oh, by the way, I've taken up a new skill."

"Skill? What other skills do you possess? To have a new one, you must have an old one."

"I have many skills, okay? Now be quiet. I'm talking."

He would have gotten hit, had she felt up to it. She was slowly becoming tired once more however, the excitement over him coming back slowly dying down.

"I'm learning to play the guitar, you see? An instrument. I-"

"You took time out to not only buy an instrument, but also start learning it, but were unable to see me for a month?"

"…I think you're missing the point here."

"You have ten seconds to get to the point."

"Just that I got a new skill, you know? I'm versatile."

"Nope. Not the point. The point is that you chose to play an instrument instead of be with me."

"I chose to get an education than be with you. Some women find that hot." Then he looked down at her and saw her face. "And I know that you are not those women."

"Certainly not."

"So instead, maybe we should change the subject and forget that I mentioned anything."

Patience. She needed a lot of patience.

"I just like messing with you," Gregor told Luxa after they had set his plate to the side and he laid down with her. "You know that."

"I also know that apparently you think you have many skills."

"I do. You just hate to admit it."

He was facing her as she curled up towards himand smile when she reached out to rest a hand against his chest.

"You can play…music then?" she asked slowly.

"Nothing you'd know. And nothing I'd know, actually. I'm not too good at it."

"Then it is not a skill."

"I said I will still learning, didn't I?" He leaned forwards resting his head against hers. "Now you sound more like my girlfriend."

"And you are calming down. You are too riled up when you first get here."

He gave her that toothy grin again. "I'm just in love with you."

She only sighed. "If you knew what I had to deal with, being with you-"

"You're not all that great either, babe." He reached up then, pressing a hand over the one she had against his chest, caging it there. "But I keep coming back. And you can't fault me for that, can you?"

Sometimes. Sometimes she hated the way that he thought he could just show up back in her life, demand things, require her attention. Sure, when he was around, the gnawers were not so pushy and Hazard was not so defiant, but that only stroked his ego even more. It made him think that she…needed him. And she hadn't needed anyone since she was a child and she needed her dead parents. Then her cousin stepped in and completely shattered her.

She didn't _need_ anyone…at least she didn't want to.

But, once again, he as changing the definition. Need with Henry was a desire. She wanted to impress him, craved his praise. She would have done anything to impress him. Anything.

With Gregor, it was completely different. She needed his attention, fine, but by the same token she knew he would never take it away. It was not conditional. She didn't have to do for him for him to do for her. She craved his presence, but if it was not there, she knew how to go on. She could want him and needed him without shutting down when he was gone.

Luxa turned her head then to kiss him gently. Against his lips, she mumbled, "You still want me?"

That made him laugh. "Is that an invitation or an open survey?"

"Greg."

He only smiled at her before letting go of her hand. "For the record, Lux, that never has to be a question."

There was just so much that Gregor taught her and showed her that it was hard to keep track. Because there was more to life than just the act of living it and the ending of it. Henry lived his life only to prove himself in death. The more time Luxa spent with Gregor, the less she even thought about something like that. Dying had always been a threat, but it was slowly becoming a distant memory. Henry said there was no eternal fire, but there didn't have to be. Light just had to shine for as long as it was needed. Because your life was an eternity. It was your forever. Maybe not everyone's, but yours. And Luxa was learning to like her eternity.

And living for yourself was good and well, but eventually you had to stop worrying about what you were living for, else it would consume you. You had to just find the moments and stay in those. And yes, moments ended and feelings didn't last forever, but that was what made it good. Gregor always told her that you could not make up if you did not fight.

Protection. Admiration. Loyalty.

Desire. Hope. Relationship.

Happiness. Sadness. Hatred.

She felt all those. Constantly. Sometimes even all at the same time. Not even always about Gregor. Sometimes it was the gnawers, other times even the nibblers and the spinners constantly were causing headaches. That was probably why it felt so _good_ when she was able to just press her head into the crook of his neck and let it all go. When she could grip his upper arm and just feel everything. All of it. And nothing mattered then. And that was better than life and death. Just feeling everything and nothing mesh together meant so much more to her than it should.

He always liked to cuddle. Always. Sometimes he liked to sleep with his chest against her back, one arm strew over her head so that when he curled it, she could hide in the crook of his arm. Other times he liked for her to sleep against his side or on his chest. He just liked to have her close, because it meant she was real, that it was all real, and he wasn't just crazy. Someone actually cared about him and wanted him.

She felt the same way.

That night though, they laid facing each other, her head next to his, hardly touching. He had awoken her that night after all and kept her up for awhile. She was truly just ready to fall asleep. There was nothing better than waking up and realizing that he was still around, after all.

He wouldn't let her sleep though. Not when something so important was bothering him.

"So, Lux, about this whole skunk thing."

She peeked an eye open. "Tell me you are joking."

"Lux, these are serious questions, okay? Concerns. For my safety."

"Gregor-"

"I know you want to sleep. And you can. After you answer a few very basic questions that will help further my time here."

"I am tired, Gregor. I-"

"Few question. Very basic. Now, this population of skunks, are they my size in the Overland? Or are they gnawer sized? Nibbler? Crawler? These are very vital to my survive. Also, where do they mainly conjugate? Because I have been here awhile now, many years, and-"

She grabbed his jaw in one hand, clenching it into a fist. His cheeks caved, like a fish, almost immediately. Staring him in the eyes, she gave him her deadliest of stares.

"You are going to be quiet, Overlander. Or I am going to harm you and make you a very, very sad boy. Do you want that?"

He could only shake his head slightly in her grip.

"Very good. When I let you go, you are going to roll over, face the other way, and leave me alone for the rest of the night. Yes?"

Nod. Definite nod.

"Good." She kissed him then before releasing him. Then he did the exact opposite as promised and wrapped her up in a big bear hug.

"Overlander-"

"Now that I've got your attention, I'm going to need a really detailed report on this whole skunk thing. Cool?" He gave her a squeeze. "Now, to begin, have you ever been sprayed? If so, are you a supporter of the tomato method?"

She hated him. She really, really hated him. In a way she never hated something before. But she loved him too. Unadulterated, completely unfiltered, and with all her heart.

And that made life and death irrelevant.

* * *

><p><strong>So…this chapter got away from me. It was supposed to be in par with the length of the other chapters, but some how wound up being nearly twice their size. Got half way through and decided to just go for it. It was the last chapter, anyways. And the more the merrier, right? <strong>


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